Friday, April 15, 2022
Being single was never a deliberate choice but more life ups and downs and in the matter of love, life has given me more than my share of downs.
I tried, made mistakes, tried again, made the same mistakes, tried again, thought i found THE big love and ended up with my heart in million pieces, a burn out, no job... and a painful grief.
Despite my obvious despair and sadness, it did not took long for friends or family to push me to "get back on the saddle".
As they were pushing me to give a new chance to love with this kind of old fashioned expression, i realized they must have had in mind Gene Autry's song while it's the one from Aerosmith that was screaming in my mind... we were not really on the same page and i was definitely not able to get back on any saddle even the most gentle and respectful one.
After some disastrous meetings and even more disastrous dinners and drinks, i stand up for myself and made clear i will go back to it when i would feel it... and by this, i meant "never".
It calmed down for a while but came back in full force after my moving to Sweden.
If i had been able to get back on track with a new job and even change country for it, then i should be able to put some care in my love life.
Well, they were convinced of it, i still was not but eventually accepted the idea of an account on a dating app.
Download the app was the easiest part, the after was painful.
The choice of pictures to make your profile attractive... how would i do that when i was feeling everything but attractive ?
The writing of the presentation pitch... 140 signs to make someone get interested in knowing you more ? a novel with a list of your expectations/preferences ?
Suddenly i felt like being on a stand-up stage having not a single word coming out and a public waiting.
I lost myself on a Google search : how to date after fifty ?
Believe me, you do not want to read anything about the challenges of dating when society already think your expiration date is over since a long time.
The process was painful but i eventually validate my account and got straight in the cruel reality of the app : the swipe game.
As soon as you connect to the App, it offers you a catalogue of profiles that could be potential love match.
If you ever thought it is a chance game, forget it... the app is not a non-profit organization.
All profiles that appear to you are the result of an algorithm... the settings you have yourself chose for your profile, the words you used to describe yourself, the number of pictures you have been uploaded... all datas you have been sharing before your first swipe have already set up the cards.
The algorithm will then follow you on every move.
Number of swipe right/left, on which kind of profiles.
Once datas are digested and analyzed, a new row of profiles... until you find your perfect match... or suscribe to different level of options to "upgrade" your profile and get better chance to have a date with someone who does absolutely not look like the profile pictures and think a long term relationship means a two hours break in an hotel room which expenses you will share because "we are in Sweden, equality is a life rule".
After some uncomfortable, disastrous, painful dates... i ended up deleting my account and retrieved the app from my phone.
The saddle was not comfortable.
My heart was bleeding again.
I was not ready for the love game.
End of story.
▋
A few days after i retrieved the app, i received an invitation mail on messenger.
I still do not know what force pushed me to accept the connection and read the mail but just like that, i found love.
Friday, April 8, 2022
When i had my first complete lock of light grey hair, i was just 25 and not confident in me to assume it as something stylish at all.
Back then, having grey hair was just good for very old ladies, grand-mothers at least and of course had to but cut short not to look neglected... which actually may be some resistant clichés !
It took me almost 25 years, a burn out with a job loss, a painful love's grief, the inspiring reading of Sophie Fontanel's book Une apparition and one year with no hair dresser appointment to get the transition done...i was 48 and my hair were just all light grey with some touch of white.
My natural hair color was dark blonde, a kind of cold light brunette or "châtain clair" in french. I was used to bleached some locks to give them kind of sun kiss effect so i was already used to buy specific care shampoo, conditionner and hair mask.
Yet, when i took the decision of keeping my natural gray hair, it has become more important to really chose the rights products to help them stay shiny and hydrated as much as possible but also keep a good volume... despite my hair is thin, i always had a good mass but with age and peri menopause time, i had to realize the texture of my hair slightly began to change to be more fragile and i lose in mass and volume.
It was not the quest of a life but let's say i have been trying a numerous number of products and brands before setting a choice that suits both my hair and my budget.
As regular shampoo and mask, i chose to go for Aesop.
As regular shampoo and mask, i chose to go for Aesop.
Australian based brand, Aesop is known for its clean compositions, its attention to plants sourced products in an almost apothecary way and its attention to produce in a cruelty free way.
3 shampoo and 1 universal conditionner, the choice is minimalist, as well as the packagings' design... i love it !
My hair is teaming up with the classic Shampoo (the smell of citrus and cedar wood is addictive), conditionner and once a week the rose hair mask... well for this last one, my hair loves it so much that it maybe more than once a week as just the equivalent of an hazelnut is enough to give a real treat to my choppy lob haircut.
It has been two years now that i am loyal to this routine and not sure i would like to change so far.
It happens i used others products and brands in favor of holidays, sleep over at my sweet but absolutely not into hair care boyfriend, but i always come back to Aesop.
In addition to my daily routine, i wanted specific hair care to keep my grey/white hair away from "yellowish" tones that can appear.
If ever you have bleached locks of your hair at least once in your life, you most probably have bought one violet haircare routine to keep the coloration or discoloration looking natural like a sun kiss on your locks.
I may have tried them all from the cheapest ones (L'oreal, Garnier, Yves Rocher) to the most pricy (Christophe Robin, Furterer, Kerastase, Olaplex).
Some left me with some purple glints in hair, some with blue to dark purple cuticules, some has so strong scents that i could have stop wearing my favorite cologne.
When arriving in Sweden, i was using shampoo and contioner from Sacha Juan, a swedish-french brand i discovered in my beloved french store, Monoprix.
Then i got to tried Maria Nila's Sheer Silver with a promotional samples campaign and my hair fell in love with it.
Maria Nila is a swedish brand (development and production are located in Helsingborg) with a high focus on vegan and cruelty free products.
I chose their Sheer Silver shampoo as it is so far the one that kept its promises to let my hair hydrated and shiny with a good texture and volume.
I love its foam and light scent, my hair is just soft, easy to style and shiny.
I used it only one or two times a week.
in addition to the shampoo, i am using the conditioner and masque from the same line.
I am not a huge fan of the packaging design... but this silver routine is actually the one offering me the best value for price with a truly great result on my hair.
Beach babe with Sacha Juan.
When i want an extra dose of volume, want to feel like i am back from the beach and feel like summer... i go for ocean mist line up from Sacha Juan and since i have been using this line, i have never been disappointed.
First the blue color of it is like a sea call.
Second the scent is like a summer beach call.
And last but not least the result is there !
I truly love both shampoo and conditionner and have them full and travel sizes.
French-Swedish brand, Sacha Juan aims to offer a simplified hair care routine and succeed in it since 2004. I am fan of their packagings and compositions.
One of the brand's best selling is the Protective Hair Perfume... a magical mist that refresh your hair, protect them from pollution and make them shine.
Where in Stockholm ?
NK - Aesop corner. Truly recommend a visit as staffs are really welcoming and professional. I followed so far all advises about hair care as well as skin care they gave me and have noticed real difference.
Aesop has also 2 own stores in Östermalm (Biblioteksgatan) and Södermalm (Nytorsgatan)
aesop.com
Maria Nila has no store by its own but can be find easily in main departements stores like Ahlens, NK, Lykko...
and of course on its on line store marianila.com with a bonus : smart tutorials to take care of your hair at home.
Sacha Juan has 2 hair salons in Stockholm and a website sachajuan.com
Most of the line can also be find in departments stores like Ahlens.
So far i am not that much into food supplements routine as i am not very regular in taking them which does not help to see any positive result as well as being a loss for my budget.
Yet i am aware my alimentation does not always fulfill the need of vitamines my body has and i may come back with a special routine soon !
Yet i am aware my alimentation does not always fulfill the need of vitamines my body has and i may come back with a special routine soon !
Wednesday, March 23, 2022
From all travels i was lucky to do, Tokyo is one of the most vivid in my memory.
Tokyo is that one of a kind capitale that makes you feel strongly disoriented, lost, overwhelmed... and yet more than eager to see more, experiment more, stay more and come back.
There are many, many things to see and do and one article would certainly be not enough to give them all...and i am not sure it is what i would like to share as there are also many good travel guides that will give you road maps and not to be missed lists you need, Lonely Planet in first place.
So no road maps on how to explore Tokyo in 5 days but a few tips to enjoy your travel.
From Europe, your flight will be in average 13 hours...
- if you can, get your body prepared to endure several time zones by slightly putting yourself in japanese time.
- get into comfy clothes, keep some all purpose hydrating cream or at least a rich one for your face (my absolute favorites are to be found at Aesop (perfect facial hydrating cream and sublime replenishing night mask) and Clinique (moisture surge intense and night mask of the same line-up), drink a lot of water... and, yes, i know it will make you visit the terrible tiny (and not always nice) bathrooms of the plane...but it will make you move a little and arrive in the best conditions to face jetlag as i am sad to say it is really quite impossible to avoid it.
- all companies are offering a large variety of movies and tv shows through individual tablets... a long flight can be a way to finally watch movies you have missed, yet, i would recommend a LoFi playlist on your phone to get you to relax and rest. my favorite LoFi channel, Chillhop Music, can be found on both Spotify and Napster.
- if like me you can not travel without a paper travel guide... i mean, what better than a travel guide associate to a light note book to keep notes, receipts, doodles and little "souvenirs" from your travel ? My two guides for Tokyo : the traditional but always useful Lonely Planet and the funny Cool Japan Guide from Abby Denson. if you are more of a paperless person, i would recommend to check https://trulytokyo.com/ by Chris Rowthorn.
- 13 hours flight is also more than enough to prepare you "i do not to miss that" list if you did not have time to do it before. If Japan is your dream travel, you certainly do not want to miss some places and i completely get it. still Tokyo is covering 2 190km2 so checking the map and organise a bit your list will help you to enjoy your trip. my advise : check your list according your interests/passions and not only the "must see" places... it is your Japan travel !
I travelled to Tokyo third week of march, i was dreaming since a long time of "Sakura" season in Japan and was not disappointed even if it was the early beginning of it... the full bloom came the week after i was back home but weather was really nice with an average of 16° making the long walks easy.
Tokyo's subway is quite easy, most of the time, and i would definitely recommend to buy a card at your arrival at airport. PASMO and SUICA are the two cards you can buy and charge with the amount you chose.
Good to know, both cards can also be used in small grocery stores like 7Eleven.
SUICA would be my advise as it can support apple and google pay.
Good to know, both cards can also be used in small grocery stores like 7Eleven.
SUICA would be my advise as it can support apple and google pay.
You will find wifi access in most coffeeshops and there are some wifi points in main tourists places like in Tokyo central station... still check your operator before and adjust data if necessary... using google maps can be quite data consuming if like me you tend to get lost !
if paper is your thing more than following a blue point on your phone, Periplus Tokyo map will be your best friend all along your trip.
Alike many capitale cities, Tokyo is expensive and if you travel on a budget, it may be challenging when it is about hotel rooms. spring is definitely an awesome season but also one of the most desirable for tourists... so prices will tend to be more high and availability more tight.
two areas i would recommend are Roppongi and Shinjuku. Asakusa, Ueno and Yanaka, the older areas of Tokyo, are also offering good locations and small budgets good deals.
3 tips :
- Hotel Remm Roppongi (available on booking.com) for comfortable nights after a long day stroll in the city... and all the japanese modern comfort : massage chair and the incredible multi-functions loo that one has definitely to experiment when in Japan !
- Book and Bed Shinjuku (https://bookandbedtokyo.com/en/)... while in Tokyo and travelling on budget, why not try a capsule hotel ? the concept of capsule hotel is simple : your room while basically be the size of your bed and you will share bathroom and commun spaces with others travelers. it maybe a challenge for your privacy but tested, i must say Book and Bed was truly a great experience.
- one night in japanese traditional ryokan will make your stay in Tokyo complete. i stayed one night at Ryokan Asakusa Shigetsu (available on booking.com) as its emplacement was ideal to explore the area around Sensoji temple.
Monday, March 14, 2022
Can we be ever too old for new beginnings ?
A little more than five years ago, i was freelance web editor, keeping up a blog and an instagram account... a period of crisis after a painful grief and loss of a job i have been invested way too much in.
It took me almost a year from leaving Paris to get back in my hometown in the north east of France and began a new job in retail...taking things back from scratch and moving to Sweden... opening a new chapter as professionally as personally, taking this job as a new chance in life at nearly 50 years old when i had already heard many, many times that i was maybe a little too old for new beginnings.
4 years later, i am back to writing a blog, a new one... not that i did not like the one i had before but 5 years without updating it, well... it seemed it was an opportunity to create a new one more fitted to my life as it is now, in Stockholm, still working for the same retail company, clearly over 50 years old with natural grey hair, wrinkles, in the throes of perimenopause and... enjoying a new love in my life.
Was it and is it still difficult to embrace all that changes ?
Yes.
Yes.
Definitely.
Would i do it again if i had the opportunity to step back in time ?
Yes.
Yes.
Definitely.
So here we are, me writing about this new life i am building and hopefully you reading !
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