Nalou after Fifty

Going through the dating experience was not an easy adventure. It was more or less " i do not want to go but i am going but i do not want".  There was a few painful meetings, a lot of laughs and questions about what i was putting myself through. And then, there was THE one. 

Nearly 3 years later and a rental contract crash for me, there we were, facing the question of living together. 

Finding a rental appartement in Stockholm and near suburb is quite an adventure for any expaS. A huge majority of rental offers are for a limited time of one year and with second hand contract which appears to be illegal in many ways and all very expensive. After leaving Paris inferno in term of real estate and rental, i could not imagine it could get worse in a city like Stockholm... but it indeed is. So when i came to find myself with no rental from one day to another, most of my colleagues and friends congratulated me on becoming finally "sambo" with my wonderful boyfriend. 

But then the question came, sambo or not sambo ? 

When you are nearly 55 and living alone for more than 8 years, would you go back to share your space and daily life with the one you love ? moreover for me with a bonus of two teenagers ! Or would you keep it "chacun chez soi" not to break this wonderful feeling of permanent dating ?

I did not have that much time to think of it so i dove into it and after a quick "keep and toss" game, me, a big suitcase, 5 moving boxes and a "few" cushions entered my boyfriend and his kids life on a 7/7 basis. One week after, if the suitcase and boxes were still not opened, some cushions found their place in the living space and on the bed... and a few plants learned to survive in an environment where they were not welcome.

We managed to fix a few rules of this new co living. Me stressed. Him relaxed. 

A couple of months later, we are still figuring out this new couple life with both our traumas, luggage, stories, experiences (not always the best ones !) from our past. Some days are easy and some are challenging. I learn to be more confident but also more open to talk, express my opinion and sometimes to stick to it not to lose myself in permanent acceptance, compromise and discover I love this new life more and more each day and would not go back for an empire. 

Does it work more easily as we are a young couple of not that young adults ? I would say yes. We both know that we have already pass more than half of our life expectancy, we are more ready to talk and compromise, find ways to make it work. One could say it is the fear of getting back in the not so fun dating game that makes us be more attentive and willing to find solutions but i genuinely think that it is having found a life partner that makes us want to cultivate and develop it. Feeling safe and loved may be one of the strongest happiness life can give... so I guess diving in sambo life was the best decision I have made this year. And as i just turned 55, I can say without a doubt that it is never, never, too late to find love.

From the morning espresso you take at the "comptoir" to the filter coffee served after lunch. Over the last 10 years, the french coffee scene has changed to set more place to "specialty coffee".  A movement dedicated to the art of coffee degustation putting the bitter espresso cup from traditional "bistro" to an end, or nearly.
When moving to Sweden, I knew already coffee and more specifically FIKA is part of every day life. 

But FIKA is not only about having a cup of coffee (or tea) and a pastry. 

FIKA is all about the time off you give to yourself while having a cup of coffee (or tea) and a pastry (not mandatory but highly recommended).

More than what "café en terrasse" is to French, FIKA is for Swedes a time off to have chat with family, friends or colleagues at work. More than a cup of coffee and a snack, it is a very social moment. 
At work, it is considered as important as any other task as this time off contribute to a good work atmosphere, give a time off that then boosts your energy to work or give a time off to speak about work tasks in a more relax context.
A creative moment.
While for a long time, the french traditional "pause café" had been badly considered by employers as a waste of time, FIKA has been elevated as a part of daily job. 
How not to love it ? 

I fell in love at first FIKA and made it mine since i moved to Sweden even if i am still unable to pronounce it with the right swede intonation. 

To make it yours, here are a few lecture tips :

• Fika, the art of the swedish coffee break by Anna Brones and Joanna Kindvall (my personal bible to Fika)
• Swedish Fika by Milo Kalén (and i can not but highly recommend a stop by her coffeeshop in Malmö, Kaka på kaka)
• The little book of Fika by Lynda Balslev

I could go on listing places on so many pages that i will stop there but please feel free to reach out by mail or in comment if you are in need of more places to stop by when in Stockholm or around.